Friday, 23 December 2011

The mundane non-event of the cat in the daytime

I was approached by a small kitton with ears and a tiny little tongue. It looked at me with its face of faces and it beckoned me lower to the ground so that I may hear its whispered words.

“Lady person person lady please” It said, well I suppose you can’t expect much sense and grammar from kitten, it was like three months old, I was talking rubbish at three months as well.


“Lady person person lady please” It said with wide eyes, teeth and ears and all that kitteny stuff “What is your opinion with regards to Karaoke?”

this is not the kitten in question

 “Well” I replied, pleased that after having taken the trouble of learning to talk, the kitten had also spent some time cultivating enough knowledge of our world and culture to enable it to come up with a suitable conversation starter.

“Well” I repeated for no reason other than to lengthen the story “you may think that I am opposed to Karaoke…”

Now I have to admit that I do assume that most people would assume (and one must never assume for it makes and ass out of you and me) that I do not think much of karaoke and I will admit that at 2am on a workday when the next door neighbours are clearly inebriated beyond the point of any scrap of talent they may have had, then I would say that I fundamentally disagree with the existence of karaoke.

However that is not to say that I would ordinarily disagree with karaoke.

Just because your sense of what is ‘fun’ and my sense of what is ‘fun’ are aligned along different wavelengths, doesn’t mean that I have to hate everything you hold dear to you heart.

Now this does not mean I am going to watch ‘Big Brother’ with you. So don’t get excited.

However I do have to admit that on occasion I have been persuaded, with very little persuasion I might add, to participate in the subtle art of the karaoke.

So what did I tell the kitten?

Well I told it nothing. I chopped off its ears and fried them with a little salt and some olive oil.

Nom nom.

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